It's De-Lovely...

I'm still not done with the Morning Glory blog yet. Gonna hash out the last bits tomorrow and hopefully edit it abit for grammer and spelling errors. But it's hard to type when one's emotional. The words just come out and well. Sometimes they're a little incoherent. So please bear with me.

I want to mention here a little something that I recalled from a conversation with my mum just last week. Prior to my returning back to school on Sunday night. I asked her... last time when my dad was dating my mum, where did they go to 'par tor' and also what did they do. I mean... the 70's must have been pretty boring right? Apparently, my parents did go to the movies and theme parks like Gay World. But not alot. Interestingly enough, they had a tier system. In that they had movie tickets priced differently depending on the location of the seats. So the seats in front would be the cheapest, followed by the ones behind and at the sides, then finally middle more expensive. My mum told me that on some occassions, my dad would ask her out, and they would happily happily go down to the movie theatre only to find that the cheapest tickets were sold out. Even though there were the most expensive tickets left, my dad would rather not watch the movie, and insteaad bring my mum to walk around. She did express that it was infuriating sometimes but she was extremely patient. To the extent that she eventually married this man. I recall the 70's was where people wore these hedious 'trumpet' pants; but my dad being a bore didn't. My mum told me that. Heh. It was quite funny... and I guess I like to ask her about the old days... coz I'm really curious as to how you know... people used to meet and date. Quite cool yah? Haha. But before anyone comments my dad is cheapo, we must consider his background. When he was young, only his dad worked, as a teacher. And they had to support 5 children. His money was only enough for daily expenses and to keep his naggin wife happy. My dad being the oldest didn't want to burden his parents too much nor deprive his siblings of anything... so yah. He was very thrifty. I guess in some ways I do admire what he has gone through to where he is today. Though my brother might disagree with me much in terms of how 'naggy' and 'irritating' my dad is, it's really something for him to be able to work his way up to where he is now.

I recall when he would tell me stories about how times were bad last time. That his scholarship to Germany was the only way he could pursue a higher education overseas and how every month he ate cup noodles and sent any available money back to his parents. Am I able to do that? I look at myself and I find that I am totally fucked up in this aspect. Spend money like fuck. No direction in life (other than graduate and get a job) and I take my parents for granted. I think I'm going to make my son work hard to achieve his goals. He won't get a handphone from my until like Junior College. Gasp Shock Horror some may say. But really. If they could do it in the old days, why can't it be done in the future? I was born with a bronze spoon in my mouth, I'll not let anyone take me for granted next time. I guess if I'm my dad now, I'd feel damn sad to see his youngest son spending money like water (on things which I myself cannot comprehend) and sometimes just wasting the weekend away going out with different groups of people. I only have ONE meal at home a week. How bad is that?

My brother likes to refer to my dad as old-fashioned and sometimes cannot comprehend how an Associate Professor can behave the way he does. Granted he's naggy. In fact sometimes he's so naggy I wondered why my mum married him in the first place. Guess how he proposed? Heh. Well, he didn't. He just asked told her one day; "next week we're going to the ROM on this day this day. Ok?" and silly her agreed. Hahaha. So unromantic. So like my dad. (There's hope for you nerds yet!) But I think back now and I smile at this. It's really VERY him. Unable to express his emotions. Unable to tell us straight the stuff that he wants to say. So it comes out authoratative and well. Naggy when we don't really wanna give him our 100% attention. I can live with that. After my brother was gone studying in the states for 3 years, I had to fill his shoes as the filal son. It wasn't so difficult. I guess. It was during army days and well, I simply had to stay home for a majority of the days. Which was fine coz I was staying out. During that period of time, I turned from the bad son (I was extremely naughty. And most of the time, it was because of my first girlfriend. Had alot of conflicts with my parents because of her.) into a relatively good son. Obedient and knows better what to do. I also knew what was going on in the household better.

Sadly, staying in the states for 3 years made my brother very much independent and he didn't really like being told what to do. So nowadays, he'll almost always quarrel with my dad over trival matters. Actually I was just told last week by my dad that he's really sad that the family was like drifting apart. Especially my brother. It's hard for him to talk to my brother now. I did tell him that he should be less naggy, authoratative and stop telling my brother what to do. But I guess he still didn't understand me. Then he brought up something which struck me. He was quite sad when he told me this, and I got quite sad when I heard it too. He said that he just wants to be able to live to see the two of us get married respectively and then he'll be contented and move on. For those not knowing, he contacted cancer in 1995. The doctor gave him 5 years. It's been 10. We seem to take for granted that the people around us will always be there for us... I guess I took my parents too much for granted. But right now, I can't do anything much except try to be home more and study and get good grades. It's what they want. It's the only thing I can try to give them.

So Minxiu, I'm sure you'll be reading this, and I know you still have disagreements with pa. But I just wanna tell you that it's not worth it to 'stick to your rights' or 'refuse to give in' due to whatever personal reasons you have. Remember him as who he is and not what he does. So what if he nags. Talk things through and clarify. I know it's irritating, but it has to be done. He's waited 3 years for you to come back and he's really quite sad to be unable to talk to you much and that you're perpetually against him. Sure, he's made mistakes, too naggy and made stupid financial agreements. But he's still our dad, and you're who you are today partially thanks to him. THANKS to him. Really, don't take him for granted because he might just disappear from our lives suddenly and it'll be too late to reconcile or even talk to him then. Be nicer and well, just be more tolerant. I'm sure you can do that... right?