Sunday, January 30, 2005

Check out this space.

Coming soon.

A hot blog which will make me Public Enemy #1 in KR.

An account of KR Hall Production's 'Morning Glory'.

Stay tuned.

Freedom of speech? Ok? Don't persecute me!

To describe 'morning glory' in those short film critic-like quotes: "a cringing performance'. I've actually been quoted before. It was for a heartlander play that was showing at Marine Parade CC a few years back. The reason I caught it was because Kumar was acting in it. He had a small segment where he was a Crow. After the entire thingmajig, I wrote in the comments box: Kumar basically stole the entire show with his hilarious potrayal of a crow in the HDB heartland (along with a systematic critique of the show because face it, the rest of the cast sucked). A few months later as they were re-staging the show, I realised I was quoted when a promotional phamplet quoted me, and ended with Wu Zhiyou (Full Time National Serviceman). Ugh. For those that loved the show and would get pissed if I dissed it, please by all means STOP READING.

I've watched bad plays before. I've watched bad movies before. Hell, I've definately watched bad musicals before (e.g. ACJC's Fame - It was the worst piece of crap I'd ever saw)... but nothing prepared me for 'morning glory'. To be fair and as a disclaimer, I would like to say that the actors (and actresses) were mostly alright. When they weren't singing. Ziliang was good la. Redeeming factor. Though if he sang I dunno whether I would say the same though (mel mel don't kill me!)... because it would be weird if an ah pek sang onstage. Especially since he was gonna die. But they could have added that. Maybe to make it more touching, make him sing with his deceased wife. Really, with the correct tone in the music, I think I wouldn've shed a tear. So many lost opportunities to make the entire thing so impactful but sad to say, they didn't think of it.

Let's start from the top. The show opened with a dance. In black. And it ended in white. I mean sure, you'll definitely wanna do a contrast coz afterall, he's supposed to be different at the end of everything. By different I mean either he learnt an important and valuable lesson, or different as in he's 6 feet under. But basically, there must be a difference in the beginning and the end of the entire musical kinda like bookends to a piece. It's so hard using that word when the entire show doesn't really justify as a musical. But I digress. I understand modern dance a little. I understand (kinda) what was going on. But what I don't understand was why it was included as part of the show (It's a show!) when it only basically served to confuse the general audience. By general audience, I refer to the audience that just wants to be treated something simple and easy to understand (e.g. the ah ma's and ah gong's that were present) and instead they have symbolisms of birth? death? and men in tights prancing around? We should know it's something inferred to the morning glory. But if you take away the dance before and after all the acts, you realise that the story is still there. Everything is still coherent. One thing to note. If you can take it out and everything's still the same. By all means. Cut. It means it's redundant. Be concise. The ensemble could be put to much better use. Like actually taking the time to learn how to act and not behave like stick figures in the background. Mingle more. Articulate. I suppose they're suffering from a lack of facial expressions too. The short one seemed frozen in either a constipated (or plastic) smile for most of the time, whilst the taller one (I know you!) was kinda like Lurch. But again, this is largely due to the vision (or rather lack of) on the part of the director. I supposed they could be more animated. But then again, there was too short a time in between dialog (if any) and the sudden spontaneous song-and-dance routine. Which leads to the next item on the list. The opening village scene.

If I recall, it was a really weird opening. For starters, if I remember correctly, it was a little bit of dialog between the ditzy girl and the supposed gay guy. And I only knew he was supposedly gay from melmel. Which meant he FAILED. Oh well. Not surprising. He couldn't even enunciate. There was abit of the usual Jackson-kinda-mumbling.. mumble mumble mumble. Then suddenly.. song and dance. The reason that the transition was bad was probably due to the lack of proper like dialog in binding the two together. Usually in a musical if one wanted to go into song and dance, it'll like build up slowly. So instead of people gossiping then suddenly see the couple coming in, then BAM go into song and dance, they could gossip gossip gossip, repeat certain words from the lyrics, nail it into us first. All this time, music should have started playing in the background. The intro was too long. Combine both what was going on in terms of action and maybe building up the atmosphere with increasing references to the lyrics in their dialogs (obviously your script has to have them saying stuff and maybe already going abit into the chorus playfully perhaps), they can probably do a better transition. Then there was the abrupt ending. It was like. Too short. It's like people were singing, dancing, la la la la, happy happy joy joy.. then suddenly diaow. Eh. Over already arh? You can almost hear the audiences go.. Errrr... Huurrrr... (and get better singers. cannot hear anything properly)

Personally I think the acting sequences in the hospital was fine. But what's up with the nurse hur. I mean seriously. Ok, I know she isn't who she seems to be from reading the phamplet and well, from the obvious way Michael goes "hurr.. Nurse Amy?" I get the point. But the audience doesn't. Or rather they fail to grasp the idea of why they had like one scene of Amy walking along the stage. I think it was an attempt to be artistic. Yet it failed. Why. Answer. Target audience too stupid. These people can't be bothered to think. And even so, there's no need to think. It's an expression which the director wants to portray. It's got significance to the story. But one must realise that if this intention isn't executed properly, it would bring negative results in such an audience. Suggestions to make it not so jia lat would be to maybe have her appear prior to hospital scenes, in a corner, with the spotlight on her.. then gradually the spotlight fades as the hospital brightens. She would then like disappear in the shadows. It's a suggestion. It might not be the best suggestion, but it's a plausible one.

On to Michael. Over enunciation to the point of almost bringing me to the brink of insanity. I felt compelled to stand up and grab a really long stick and stick it up his ass. Maybe it'll make him less high-pitched and irritating. Otherwise, he was fine. Again, he had potential to maybe sing a duet with his father. Doesn't really make sense having him singing with his dear ol' aunt pauline does it? Then again, should he even sing at all. Heh.

Back to the villagers (they had a song near the end). I didn't feel for them. I didn't feel the urgency nor the threat of war. Basically I felt nothing. I was stoned. Sure, they excerpted a clip from a war movie and left the stage black for us to 'imaGen' what was going on. Leave it to the audience's imagination. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. A suggestion would be air raid sirens (as was used) and showing all the villages evacuating. Chaos, panic and you can have flashing lights. Simple? Droning of planes overhead (was it used?) would be cool at this point, then there could be the sound of a bomb dropping. When it hits, blackout immediately. Then cue the firefight sounds.. then when lights come on, show the village in ruins. You'll require more emotional output from the actors+actresses to make us FEEL your loss. I don't feel anything except a strong desire to walk up to them and slap them in their faces and go 'aye, sing properly la. your village kenna ravaged and you sing so emotional-essly' try taking a cue from Les Mis.. sing with gusto. Maybe, just maybe, they should have included lyrics in the booklet. 90% of the time all I was hearing was Jackson's mumbling. Quite incoherent.

Oh. Regarding the Captain hor. I think she's fine la. Nothing much to explore in this character anyway. Maybe go deeper into the psyche? Even so, I don't feel her guilt before she shot herself. It's like she's so gung ho and then suddenly she feels damn guilty. Maybe there isn't time to develop. Oh well, I think ley, she should have smoked la. It's like no smoke. Then very lame ley. Keanu Reeves smoked like 7 packets a day to get into character as Constantine in the upcoming movie. If you're required to smoke one cigarette, must as well smoke it. Realism helps. I heard from my cousin, a child actor, that he and some other kids were required to smoke as in actually smoke in one of their scenes. They were told to hold the smoke in their mouth and blow it out. Simple? But optional la. Cannot condemn based on this. But just a suggestion. Or maybe at least really light up. One cigarette won't possibly set off the fire exstinguishers right? right? Hmm.

It's been 2 days since I last edited this draft. And I've pretty much forgotten how the thing went. But I believe we still have 2 soliloquys to consider? 1st thing to consider here, were they necessary? As usual. Transition was lacking. Actors weren't convincing. How can they expect us to feel sorrow and moved when all we saw was a constipated guy in an army uniform clenching his fists and like flailing his arms? Incomprehensible (and bad) voice plus bad acting = switch off. Come to think of it. I didn't even applause whenever they ended a song. It could have been much better. The nurse amy too... too much ambiguity in this character. No transition. Leads to alot alot of question marks in the audience. Though I understood what was going on, I didn't really like the way they jumped straight into something. Straight into her walking, talking, then suddenly singing. Maybe she could have like stepped off the set and spotlight on her after her interaction with other cast members. Such a flow would greatly help things. Even if the song sucked, but at least she sounded like she could sing. Which is a plus point. The same couldn't be said of the others though.

Bad ending. Could it get any worse than this? I get the ending. Old man dies. 'Son' talks a little about the man's past. History. Like the son whom never knew his father. We dunno if father actually knew son. But by inference, I gather Michael had matured. However. What I don't get. And what's nagging me.. is WHY IS HE SINGING WITH HIS AUNT?! Abit the hurrR right. Don't tell me that only because she never die that's why he can only sing with her. C'mon la. FINALE ley. 2 people sing? Usually finale is the ENTIRE CAST right? POWER finale. Remember when the lights dimmed out? The audience were like waiting for the next scene? And they started announcing names? The entire row in front of me was like DUH? It's OVER?! Not that they wanted more la. But even the idiot that was slapping his thigh at certain bits of the play (Michael's enunciation) was shocked that it was over. Like that. (Despite me turning my head 90 degrees when he was rolling in his seat during 'Michael's performance, he did not get it that it was so not funny and that he shouldn't really be laughing and was getting on my nerves) Was it meant to be artistic? Maybe. Did it achieve that? No. What was the problem? VISION! NO VISION! Sigh. That's the importance of the director. If it doesn't work, make amendments. Visualise what it would look like. Find it a little weird? Nagging suspicion it might not work? Change it! This would be very important on my upcoming Repro direction. Unfortunately, the next repro film might be a flop again. And this time it would be on my head. Sigh.

Choice of music. Usually musicals go for 3-4 main tunes which get repeated when it came to an emotional, happy or basically stirring scene. Say an example would be the 'happy happy' villages song. Imagine how powerful it would be should the army guy come back and look at his home and the 'sad version' plays. Then he cries and maybe sits down on the steps holding a morning glory in his fingers and sing the 'sad version' which is basically the 'happy' version but sings it tearfully, slowly and basically i think it would be more appropriate. It's these tunes that get repeated and stuck into our heads. Not radiohead. They might wanna re-consider on that. In case any KR person involved in hall production is reading this and gets all hot under the collar, i'll like to just say that yes. I am an armchair general. I am an armchair critic. I have not directed a play, I have not written a score, nor have I told 20 actors how to act. But at least I have suggestions. Which may/may not make the production better. So it's a personal opinion. You should have stopped reading after the first paragraph if you're pissed.

It could have been so much better. I liked the idea of michael being his son corny as it might have been. In fact, all the elements made for a compelling story. Unfortunately the execution. Ugh. Transition. Ugh. It killed everything. Pardon me for being incoherent at times. I'm not exactly a good writer, but I do try my best. We'll need smoother transitions, better dialog.. and also less 'trying to be artistic' scenes. If you can't pull it off, don't. Treat the audience like idiots. It's the safest way to survive. Just look at Jack Neo. heh. I think next time, ask Dick Lee back to do the musical. My gripe is baically how bad it flowed and how bad it ended. If they had put more into these aspects, it might have been better. Really. It's got potential. If it ended with the full cast singing, I would have clapped. But it's over now. Just a stain in the long list of KR Hall Productions. If I recall anything else I want to add, I'll just update this post. Right now. I'm just sick and tired.

Let the flaming begin.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Music for the soul?

No, not the Phantom kind of music. (I wonder what's up with the KR Homepage anyway. Blog phantom for what?)

Music theraphy is nice. Really. And I dunno why I'm suddenly stuck to this song. I mean. I'm kinda sick listening to Jay Chou. However, I've been on a self-imposed hiatus against him for some time and well, I just got stuck to this song which played randomly from my iTunes...

開不了口

曲:周傑倫 | 詞:徐若瑄 | 編:

才離開沒多久就開始 擔心今天的妳過得好不好
整個畫面是妳 想妳想的睡不著
嘴嘟嘟那可愛的模樣 還有在妳身上香香的味道
我的快樂是妳 想妳想的都會笑
沒有妳在我有多難熬(沒有妳在我有多難熬多煩惱)
沒有妳煩我有多煩惱(沒有妳煩我有多煩惱多難熬)
穿過雲層 我試著努力向妳奔跑
愛才送到 妳卻已在別人懷抱
就是開不了口 讓她知道
我一定會呵護著妳 也逗妳笑
妳對我有多重要 我後悔沒 讓妳知道
安靜的聽妳撒嬌 看妳睡著 一直到老
就是開不了口 讓她知道
就是那麼簡單幾句 我辦不到
整顆心懸在半空 我只能夠 遠遠看著
這些我都做得到 但那個人已經不是我

On a lighter lighter note, Tanya has a new album

Now back to my mugging.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

I'm amazed

Though people don't refer to my site for porn unlike cinewhore, I managed to discover this interesting tidbit.

If you go to Yahoo search, and do a search for 'low of torts in malaysia', yes, LOW of torts.. misspell it.. and my site's the 4th hit.

I still don't know how search engines work...

PENAL CODE (AMENDMENT) BILL

Order for Second Reading read.

     The Acting Second Minister for Nuisance (Mr iReally Buay Tahan, Racist): Mr Speaker, Sir, I beg to move, That the Bill be now read a Second time.

   The Bill will amend the Penal Code to give legislative effect to the following measures to:

   (a)   Insert General Public Nuisance as a criteria for criminalizing in the Penal Code.

Sir, I shall now explain the amendments in the Bill.

Current State of the Penal Code inadequate:

Section 141 of the Penal Code presently criminalizes unlawful assembly to the extent of: An assembly of 5 or more persons is designated an “unlawful assembly”, if the common object of the persons composing that assembly is —

(a) to overawe by criminal force, or show of criminal force, the Legislative or Executive Government, or any public servant in the exercise of the lawful power of such public servant;

(b) to resist the execution of any law, or of any legal process;

(c) to commit any mischief or criminal trespass, or other offence;

(d) by means of criminal force, or show of criminal force, to any person, to take or obtain possession of any property, or to deprive any person of the enjoyment of a right of way, or of the use of water or other incorporeal right of which he is in possession or enjoyment, or to enforce any right or supposed right; or

(e) by means of criminal force, or show of criminal force, to compel any person to do what he is not legally bound to do, or to omit to do what he is legally entitled to do.

This is inadequate considering public nuisance caused by the assembly whom have no criminal intent sometimes far exceed the normal tolerance level for the normal public.

Targeting a specific group of individuals with bad conduct:

This amendment to the Penal Code will allow the persecution of certain individuals whom like to prowl the streets (corridoors) at night and cause a ruckus at ungodly hours. This will also prevent them from playing hide and seek in the wee hours of the morning and/or screaming along the corridoors in the process. Furthermore, their gatherings in front of halls or carparks in the middle of the night will have to cease too on the account of the dangers passerbys have in failing to notice them due to color deficiancies at night. Not to mention the stench.

Zero-ing in on the offenders in particular by adding the following subsections:

Under CHAPTER VIII OFFENCES AGAINST THE PUBLIC TRANQUILLITY Section 141, insert subsections:

An assembly of 5 or more persons is designated an “unlawful assembly”, if the common object of the persons composing that assembly is —

(f) to talk/scream/basically make any noise.

This reason is that they tend to talk very loudly. This causes general disturbance to the public and one can literally hear them from the other end of the corridoor. Not to mention the slamming of doors and incoherent gibberish they spout.

(g) to play hide and seek in the hall premisis.

Seriously. How old are these people? Don't they have (school)work to do? Why all the chasing? Why all the laughing? Even though they have an advantage playing hide and seek at night, they should do it in the privacy of their own country. Disturbing the peace is unwarranted and should be criminalized.

(h) to remain in their rooms past 2am.

By remaining in their rooms, it is meant for them to remain in their rooms individually and not congregate in a single individual's room. This is to ensure that they have no chance to prowl the streets or corridoors of the halls and make a nuisance out of themselves.

(i) to keep their room doors closed.

Especially in rooms where the wind will pass through. It's for the greater good of the general public.

(j) to stop gathering in front of halls and/or carparks in the middle of the night.

I would like to point out that this is an extremely ridiculous act and on personal experience, I was driving into the biz carpark at 3am and there was a sea of them. Around 20, all lined up army style. It was too dark to determine the sexes, but the sea parted when my headlights touched them. For all we know under the guise of gathering for fun and games, they are actually undergoing training/drills to overthrow the government. In this case, the ISA would apply. However, we should stop this nonsense at the source.

The amendment Bill creates new subsections (g), (h), (i), and (j).  This also gives the Minister for Nuisance the power to make regulations to give effect to Singapore's legal obligations under any further international agreement.

      Sir, I beg to move.

     Question put, and agreed to.

     Bill accordingly read a Second time and committed to a Committee of the whole House.

     The House immediately resolved itself into a Committee on the Bill.  -  [Mr iReally Buay Tahan, Racist].

     Bill considered in Committee; reported without amendment; read a Third time and Presidential Council for Minority Rights rejected it on the account that it was too racist.

Oh well...

Disclaimer
The author does not warrant or assume any legal liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information, apparatus, product, or process disclosed. This post was made as a joke due to the nuisance the author has experienced from a general group of people and this is just an outlet for his frustration. If he is to be penalized for racism, then by all means do penalize all website authors whom have racist jokes on their sites as well.

I Need to GET A LIFE

What am I doing up at like 6am in the morning? It was Hari Raya yesterday.. but today's just a normal day. What AM I doing up... Justification: Doing work. Question: What work? Let's see. I've completed 3/4 of my Criminal Law tutorial. Tried to start on Breach (I MUST FINISH IT LATER) and well. Did more research on my statutes which didn't seem to help much. Try defining this:

"(2)   Subject to subsection (3), this Act shall not apply in relation to a contract entered into before the end of the period of 6 months from 1st January 2002.

(3)   The restriction in subsection (2) shall not apply in relation to a contract which —

(a) is entered into on or after 1st January 2002; and"

Does that mean that this Act doesn't apply to a contract signed 6 months before 1st January 2002 or does it mean it doesn't apply to a contract after 31st June 2002? Ugh. My contract's signed in July 2001. Need help here. Bloody confusing... I think I spent like 3hours thinking about this. Just stoning there. And making some phone calls too.

And what should I do for research tomorrow? I've given up reading the statutes. And my printer screwed up at the last possible moment. Now I can't print out a 25 page essay to read and compare. And I still have to catch up on Legal Theory readings as well as prepare for a new Contract topic on Monday.

48hours seems so inadequate for me to complete everything. This is especially important as I still have a memo due next weekend. In this aspect, I MUST finish almost everything by Sunday.

Sidetrack abit, there are only like 5 people online (MSN) with me right now:
ªżмЇй©
The most difficult thing to do is watch the person you love, love somebody else
I believe
[team KR] daren: too much has changed.
Cruz wishes Yihui a Belated 21st birthday!!... Late by 10mins only!... (WasInLoveThatDay)

Isn't it amazing how people like to put their feelings and emotions (of the moment) in their MSN nicks? Granted Azmin just puts his name... But we can see that the 2nd guy obviously is pretty sad that somebody he likes/loves/has a crush on is actually in love/likes/or has a crush on somebody else. Aww. The 3rd guy comes across as a staunch Christian. Which he is. The 4th one suggests that... well. There's been a change. To what I dunno. Heh. And well, The last one is just wishing somebody happy birthday. And maybe hinting he's in love or whatever la.

Fun eh?

Here's my own: [KR Go~] :: Zhiy[u] :: iSad, iSick, iFever, iPissed :: iHatcOyBIcTy ::
KR Go - Obviously supporting the local IHG
Zhiy[u] - My name. Duh.
iSad - I'm Sad
iSick - I'm Sick
iFever - I kenna Fever
iPissed - I'm not happy
iHatcOyBIcTy - Sounds like I HATE COY BITCH. But it isn't. Angelene already guessed it. Go bother her. Heh.

Ah shit. It's really late (early) .. and I'm starting to feel the pangs of tiredness hitting me. Time to turn in.

Goodnight..

Friday, January 21, 2005

A Big Leap. A New Entry.

There's gonna be a change in the format of my mew Blog entries. Not that anyone cares la. But then, here it is. No more "The One with... " It's just gonna be nice, plain and simple. Basically, whatever I wanna type, I just type. No need conformity. Afterall, what's the actual need for conformity. Nobody reads this blog anyway. Maybe I should put "Britney Spears Nude!" many many times in the text of my future blogs so people will actually be redirected here from google ya?

Sadly, I don't have any nude pictures of Britney Spears. Though I do have that copy of Paris Hilton's famous 'Night Vision' Home Video. Unfortunately I've deleted it after 5 minutes of viewing. Quite repetitive. Unlike Melissa, I don't watch porn in the LT. I watch it in the confides of my room with my window open. People wanna look in, can come join me. Provided they can even see what's on my 12" iBook screen that is. Which reminds me, almost everyone in our OG has contravened this Act:

FILM ACT (CHAPTER 107)
(3) Any person who distributes, or has in his possession for the purposes of distributing, to any other person an obscene film knowing or having reasonable cause to believe the film to be obscene shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable on conviction —

(a) to a fine of not less than $2,000 for each such film he had distributed or in his possession (but not to exceed in the aggregate $80,000) or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 2 years or to both; and

(b) in the case of a second or subsequent conviction, to a fine of not less than $4,000 for each such film he had distributed or in his possession (but not to exceed in the aggregate $100,000) or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 2 years or to both.
[10/98]

Here, we're all caught as we were passing it around like nothing lah. Even in the library also we were going "Aye! Where's the Paris Hilton?!"

(4) Any person who exhibits or has in his possession for the purposes of exhibiting to any other person an obscene film knowing or having reasonable cause to believe the film to be obscene shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable on conviction —

(a) to a fine of not less than $10,000 but not more than $40,000 or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 2 years; and

(b) in the case of a second or subsequent conviction, to a fine of not less than $20,000 but not more than $100,000 or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 2 years or to both.
[10/98]

iThink Melissa is guilty of this. Especially flashing Paris Hilton's 'headlights' during Criminal Lecture today. Heh.

Come to think of it, we had a pretty bad Legal Theory lecture. Jackson gave this link to us in mass chat about a guy cutting off his own dickhead. And I actually went to the page la. Bloody gross. As in BLOODY gross. Made me twitch. Eww.

Amazingly, my iTunes shuffle mode seems to fit my mood. When I was damn sad, it played like 5 instrumental sad songs consecutively. When I was thinking of a particular person, it played a song which had the same name as the person. Interesting eh? Can't wait for my iPod so that I can bring my music out. I love my iTunes.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

The One with the iPod Shuffle

From Alex Ross' essay, "Listen to This," in the latest New Yorker:

I have seen the future, and it is called Shuffle—the setting on the iPod that skips randomly from one track to another.... There is something thrilling about setting the player on Shuffle and letting it decide what to play next. Sometimes its choices are a touch delirious—I had to veto an attempt to forge a link between György Kurtág and Oasis—but the little machine often goes crashing through barriers of style in ways that change how I listen. For example, it recently made a segue from the furious crescendo of “The Dance of the Earth,” ending Part I of “The Rite of Spring,” right into the hot jam of Louis Armstrong’s “West End Blues." The first became a gigantic upbeat to the other. For a second, I felt that I was at some madly fashionable party at Carl Van Vechten’s. [Ed: But who hasn't had that feeling, frankly?] On the iPod, music is freed from all fatuous self-definitions and delusions of significance. There are no record jackets depicting bombastic Alpine scenes or celebrity conductors with a family resemblance to Rudolf Hess. Instead, music is music.

It seems to me that a lot of younger listeners think the way the iPod thinks. They are no longer so invested in a single genre, one that promises to mold their being or save the world. This gives the life-style disaster called “classical music” more of a chance....

I am so getting my iPod Shuffle.

The One with the 'Dangerous Game'

Jan 11, 2005
Put an end to this dangerous JC 'game'

I AM a parent of a boy studying in a premier junior college in the Bishan-Ang Mo Kio area. Recently, it has come to my attention that rowdy behaviour is threatening to compromise the safety of the students.

According to my son, the violent act is dubbed 'taupok', a reference to a highly compressible piece of brown beancurd. A student would shout 'taupok' and other students would pounce on the targeted person, drag him down forcefully and climb on top of him. Due to peer pressure, more and more students would join in until the stack of bodies is about a metre high.

This violent act is supposedly done in the name of fun but, as a parent, I feel that it is potentially dangerous and even life-threatening.

Furthermore, the 'taupoking' is not a rare occurrence. It can happen up to five times a day, anywhere and to any person.

During the orientation programme for Year One students, even a person standing on the stage during a performance could get 'taupoked'.

Supposing that an average person weighs 60kg, a typical group of 15 would weigh almost a tonne. Just as a person cannot survive without air for three minutes, I am very sure that the human backbone cannot bear the sheer weight of a thousand kilograms.

What happens if the victim's spine breaks? Or if he sustains any other injuries? Who will bear the consequences?

Fortunately, my son has not been a victim of 'taupoking' yet, but he still feels rather uncomfortable about this dangerous act. Also, he feels obliged to join in due to peer pressure, as everyone else is doing it.

Some would say that 'taupoking' is perfectly safe if one assumes the correct position, with one's elbows and forearms touching the floor so as to support the weight, like in rugby. However, not everyone knows the correct position to take, and when surprised one might also forget to assume that position.

I write this letter in the sincere hope of preventing a tragedy. Hopefully, we can keep 'taupok' where it belongs - in that delicious bowl of noodles.

Justin Situ Ren Jun

---- I think the students should be condemned in the first place for being so bloody immature. Stupid stupid kids.

Monday, January 10, 2005

The One about 男生雙魚座

This is supposedly about me:

男生雙魚座:他常說別的女孩優... 雙魚座的男生會是許多女孩夢中那般親切浪漫的白馬王子, 注意在夢中,包括妳的夢中,也包括他的夢中, 所以在現實裡,雙魚座的男子的愛情, 還是屬於在在自己夢幻中,在自己的世界裡, 他很不能認清事實的真相,所以雙魚座也是很難分手的星座,如果他想主動分手,他會拖拖拉拉的, 所以他變心的前奏曲很長,只要這段期間, 他常提出一些別的女孩子優點和妳比較時, 那妳應該要注意了,因為他的心已經慢慢往別的港口靠囉!

Is this true?

Sunday, January 09, 2005

The One with the Vacuous Level

My fellow comrades. You might remember a time oh so not long ago (Before the examinations) when we had this little meter to measure the density of our other fellow comrades' vacuous levels. Oh yes. What started out as a joke turned out to be a giant sociological experiment and monitoring of the vacuous levels of the people around us. If we recall, the final standings turned out to be:

[Vacuous level: April 316%. Xiaohui 20%, Jessica 50%]


As we do not keep in touch with Jessica much anymore, and as Xiaohui does not seem to be exhibiting signs of vacuousity any longer, we can safely annull their results and subsequent monitoring. However, I just received an email from April regarding another blog post of mine. She tried to bring to my attention my own post, sending me a link to my own blog.

"siyue has sent you a link to a weblog:

I swear that I could have pulled a muscle reading this. It is extremely
hilarious.. Oh yes, and HUHHHH, why aren't i in your 'thank-you' list? how sad!
*joking* haha. And lastly, nice try for being discrete. You are SO discrete."

This unprecedented move has invoked in me a desire to resurrect the long forgotten vacuous level monitoring of yesteryear. Hence, after extensively consulting Angelene (For about 10 seconds), (And to take the heat off the mambo post) I present to you the new vacuous level readings of April:

[Vacuous level: April 350%]

Some things never change :)

Saturday, January 08, 2005

The One with the Question

Question: Bill! What's that on your neck?

Answer: Bite.

-- Silence --

Jack: So how was the...how was the...c'mon help me out here..think of another topic...

Friday, January 07, 2005

The One with the KDG PNF Mambo Session

Last night at Mambo was great. Really. I got a message from Angela "Come and see M3l2 and Billy in action" Little did we know that we really got to see some action... We actually got the honor to watch M3l2 and Billy make out at every possible moment on the dance floor. Remember kids, one doesn't have to be high to make out! :) We saw all the specifics. Oh yes we did. Tongue, Grinding and all. Like Bunnies (Swatch Karma Sutra watch anyone?) To quote Belanie: "Some people obviously went training for deep sea diving... Never have I seen two people who can hold their breath for so long... They can train deep sea pearl divers... Now i know the hidden talents of my two friends." As SiYue said it "Guys, I think we've just lost two friends" But we got one back. And it was fun to watch even though two members of our party were pseudo puking due to the intensity of their.. er.. workout. Heh. (Maybe we'll post the pictures once we can get them out from the camera phones to our laptops... Maybe)

We do await eagerly their slated repeat performance... Maybe halfway through dinner next time we'll be hearing Billy go "Can I have a M3l2?" then M3l2 will go "Can I have a Billy?" And we'll have to move ourselves to discrete positions... and enjoy the show... their eyes will meet, lock ... and soon other parts of their bodies will lock. Yum yum. To make us oblivious to it all and get used to their *ahem* needs, they might have to make out more in front of us. Maybe in the LT would be cool. Angela can go "Oh Billy and M3l2 are making out too on my right." More is good. More is good.

Oh and we stuck contraceptives on Billy's door (Duty of Care as a friend). After indulging in their self-absorbed performance at Zouk, and knowing that they probably will be too lazy to make a trip down to 7-11 (Taxi fare is expensive, and what if they bump into any of their friends down at 7-11? We so considerate! And also don't wanna be sued for negligent friendship) we got em two packs of 3. Durex. One red, a personal favourite of our Resident Grand-Daddy of Sparks and another one with a Motor Dial on it. I think it was for 'Enhanced Performance'? There was also a nice 'Double Happines' Postcard from us reading "If you up the scale..play it safe" (And we left the instructions in the keyhole)...

So... Next time when we visit Billy's room, there'll be two things we have to do.

1) Stock check.

and

2) Bed check (for stains... before sitting).

Until next post... I leave you guys with this message from our sponsors "Don't do tutorial mates!"

- Thanks - Belanie, Angela, M3l2. Billy and Grand-Daddy of Sparks for providing the uplifting news.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

The One with Allan Heinberg

This is for Sex and the City and The O.C. fans out there (and I know there are a few of you reading this..)

Young Avengers #1

COVER BY: Jim Cheung
WRITER: Allan Heinberg
PENCILS: Jim Cheung
INKS: John Dell

THE STORY: Youth goes wild in February, when Hollywood scribe Allan Heinberg ("Sex and the City", "The O.C." and "Party of Five") and hot artist Jim Cheung launch Young Avengers.

"The series chronicles the adventures of four all-new teenage superheroes who first appear on the scene dressed as... well, young Avengers," laughs Heinberg.

The appearance of Patriot, Iron Lad, Asgardian and the Hulkling in the aftermath of "Avengers Disassembled" touches off a storm of controversy, both in the press and within the superhero community, with questions ranging from "Where did these kids come from?" to "Are they heroes or villians?"

"I don't want to reveal too much," warns Heinberg, "but I can confirm that each Young Avenger has a significant tie to the Avengers themselves - or to Avengers history - which may not be readily apparent."

Look for the rookie Avengers to get a superhero crash course in the first arc, which features a classic Avengers villian and guest appearances by Captain America, Iron Man and teases Heinberg, "my favourite character in the entire Marvel Universe, Jessica Jones."

PRICE: $2.99
IN STORES: 02-09-2005

The One with the Rainbow Connection

"The Rainbow Connection"
written by Kenny Ascher and Paul Williams

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it,
And look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

All of us under its spell,
We know that it's probably magic...

... Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
... Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm s'posed to be...
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Laa, da daa dee da daa daa,
La laa la la laa dee daa doo...

The One with ...

1hr ago, I made somebody cry again. It wasn't even meant to have that effect. More so along the lines of there was 'parental disagreement' as compared to 'it's me' and we should stop it. Now. Didn't mean to stop. Just to ease up as Semester 2 starts as according to my lousy grades, I officially cannot juggle the two R's together. (Reading and Rela........) Not that I'm not willing to try. I am.

However I also need to start my new late night get togethers with Mr McKendrick (The thick one) and on top of that, I've got a silly IVP which even with the points it'll be impossible to stay in KR. Then along comes Recre Comm. Doing stuff (though not alot, I do love film screenings) to get points even though I won't get enough to stay, and finally Repro. Repro hopefully will become my escape from the hectic world of mugging and into an equally if not, more hectic world of filming. Perhaps for 1 week I will have the bliss of seeing something I edited and directed be immortalized in film. Perhaps I will be happy. I might even call it my baby. And perhaps I might screw it up so badly and that I'll hate post production so much that I'll leave Repro forever.

I don't know.

I hate having to juggle so many things.

I feel like running away sometimes.

I just want to quit everything.

Which was why I loved to surf in the past. It's just you, the sail (and board) and the sea. You can scream out there. Vent everything out. Leave nothing inside. It feels so.. satisfying. Hours floating on the water. Your own little utopia. Nobody disturbs you. Nothing. Alone. Peace.

I wish I wasn't me.

I wish ... I had more time.