Function of an Alarm Clock

Everyobody knows what I mean by the function of an alarm clock ya? It means what the alarm clock is primarily used for. The very reason you bought the clock for. The essence of the alarm clock. Nope. Prima facie it seems to be for telling the time. But that is not the primary reason why one buys an alarm clock. One buys an alarm clock for the ALARM function. To enable it to wake one up when need be. Primary function: alarm. Secondary function: tell time. Right now, my wall clock says 5:17am.

What am I doing up at this godforsaken hour you might ask. Don't we have Legal Theory later at 12 noon? The answer is yes. And the reason I'm up, isn't because of Legal Theory. It's because somebody in E Block does not understand how to use an alarm clock. He (Feminist theory! Generic 'He') bought the alarm clock NOT to wake himself up. Nor to tell the time. But rather to irritate the fuck out of his neighbours. It's not the first time this bloody lunatic has successfully roused (not aroused you sick people) me from my deep slumber and into a state of frustration. For the past week, I can count 4 occassions. I have no need to go into detail for the past instances. We shall concentrate at the current matter at hand. It is now 5:20am and the fucking noisy alarm is still ringing. I have a few questions for this individual. Does he really intend to get up at 5am to study? Who the hell gets up at 5am to study?! 2) If he knows he's a heavy sleeper (as evidence by his previous inability to wake up the 4 occassions prior to today), why doesn't he set up some other form of alarm system whereby maybe his laptop gives him a hefty electric shock? I heard it's quite relaxing. Point: Get rid of the bloody alarm. 3) Why the hell can't you wake up despite the noisy ringing? This isn't the usual beep beep alarms. It's the fucking noisy bell type. At least mine's a hp alarm. I see no requirement to wake my neighbours or alert them as to when I wake up. 4) If I find out which room he's in, he'll be in a shitload of trouble. Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad...

Ah wait. You hear that? No I suppose you don't. It's the sound of silence. Lovely blissful silence.

Oh joy.