Reminiscing the spoon

Sometimes I don't even know why I bother. Most people will tell their friends to stay away from their exs with a ten foot pole. Yet if your ex needs help, you'll probably still go to his/her aid right? Right? Isn't that the right thing to do? In any case, I was supposed to help mine buy a birthday present from Bangkok and pass it to her, along with my old mini-stereo which I actually bought from her Eusoff sale whilst I was still in the army. I had agreed to sell the mini-stereo to her for a nominal fee of $100. I bought it for like $350 la. $100 is nominal already because it includes delievery. I haven't actually been using it much since I bought it. Coincidentally I sold her my old PHILIPS tower block stereo for $50. It still resides in Eusoff Hall.

Anyway, reaching Block 17 via driving instead of taking the bus was a very different feeling. I used to take bus 31 and alight at the main road then walk all the way in. Now it's like if I don't have the car, I'm inclined not to go out at all. How things have changed. As I walked to take the lift up I was telling myself "Alright. This'll be fast. In out. It's late somemore... (12+am) shouldn't disturb the parents and/or siblings. Just drop off the stereo and bag, then leave." My goal was minimum contact. Not that I hated her or anything. We had split up amicably; me letting her go for another guy despite a 4.5 year (approx) relationship. I just didn't want to remember too much. I had spent many days of those 4.5 years at her place. Even to the point of dinner with the parents quite regularly. (They still remember me!) But my aim of minimum contact was not to be as I bumped into her downstairs and the stereo being heavy, resulted in me carrying it all the way up and into her room. My first impression was that she had lost weight. Considering she was very slim, it seemed even worse. But I will address that later.

Once I stepped into the flat, I was hit with a tinge of familarity. Afterall I had spent alot of time here. I could see traces of my past in the flat. E.g. a giant jigsaw given by me hanging in the living room. The fishes in the tank were bought by me when all the fishes died during a freak accident involving a pump and a pail (don't ask). I remember the kitchen, bathroom and toilets as if I were there just yesterday despite them being upgraded and spankingly new now. Her room was one of the smallest rooms in the house. But big enough for a single person obviously. Her bed had changed from a mattress on the floor to a 4-post bed. The smelly pillow called 'Derrick' remained the same. Her cabinets were stuffed full of soft toys. Majority of which I was guilty of buying (Please la. Secondary 3-JC2 what stuff would YOU give?!) Scanning the shelves beside her table, I noticed a very nice metallic picture frame containing a picture of her and her current (fugly -- disclaimer, not to be related to previous post on fugly people) bf taken in India. The frame was very familar.

"Didn't I give you this frame along with the picture of us at the Effiel Tower?"

We had taken a very nice picture at the Effiel Tower and I had only *one* piece of it of which I gave it to her in that frame.

"Err.. yah. But I couldn't put it there anymore la."

"Then keep it with the frame together in the cupboard or something la. Hai... the frame not very nice to use in this way also mah..."

That was the photo frame. I couldn't help but feel that it was a little wrong la. But technically, property changed hands, no longer my property already and I have no legal nor equitable interest in it. Not as if there was a contract bound on how to use the frame. So I decided to just forget it la. The frame was really very nice though. ANYWAY. We ending up chatting. Just me sitting on the floor beside her and chatting about silly stuff. Like how we used to chat in the old days. How we went on for hours and hours without end talking about anything and everything under the sun. It was quite amazing. Half-way through, her brother came out of his room and I gave a little wave to him. He's the eldest. I remember. I then commented that she was getting too skinny for her own good. She declined and said that she actually bought slimming cream. I was flabbergasted. I didn't know that rubbish worked. $50. I was skeptical of both the fact that she said she was fat and for the other fact that she said it worked. She proceeded to squeeze the fats on her thigh as evidence. I think I had more. Sigh. More evidence was produced in the form of a table chart where she measures her thighs, hips and waist every week. There was apparently a 3 cm reduction over a period of 1 week. Interesting. But I had to go. Soon. First I needed a drink.

So we went to the kitchen and the water was out. So I grabbed a carton of milk from the fridge and found an empty cup. She was like "Your house arh?" - in a joking manner of course. "Nah... okay lah" Shit. I shouldn't be treating it like my home. But very hard ley. The kitchen table was where I finished up many a lunch and dinner after school last time. Imagine I ate at HER place for dinner then went HOME for dinner. Lucky I exercised alot last time through sports to burn it off! We talked a bit more on how we were doing and I asked more about her company. Which actually I still don't know much about. I then proceeded to wash my cup at the sink and soap it.

"Thank you! *sheepish grin* I'm such a terrible host, but actually I can't wash because I've put moisturizer on my hands!"

"It's okay. Really."

"Lucky we're not together. Imagine you have to do the washing when your law friends come for dinner then they will say you have a lousy gf. Or if at night you want to go out with them then I sleepy don't wanna go they will say I lazy."

I didn't really answer that one. Nor comment on it. Instead I asked her about someone on the HOME section of the STRAITS TIMES today to change a potentially e-evoking topic.

"You messaged me this morning regarding the girl on the cover page of HOME. I don't recognize her as our teacher ley."

"Not HER! HIM! Mr Liew! From AHS one. E Maths. Very tiko one!"

"Eh... check check check!"

I was surprised that she was referring to Mr Liew. He was quite a tiko old man whom would hold any pretty girl's wrist during maths and attempt to teach them via him helping them write. I also always thought he peeped down girl's blouses as he bent down beside them. Here he was, sitting with his face ashen with despair as his wife laid in the background in a hospital bed. A victim of the reversing car that was trying to park from a distance of 5 car lengths away. The judge had found them both guilty of negligence and the guy had to take 50% of the blame whilst she contributed negligently the other 50%. I just didn't think it coincidental that the woman would be his wife.

After a short discussion on how fair it actually was because the woman being an idiot didn't look both sides of the road when crossing, I got up to leave. I didn't really want to, we were talking like old times. But I had to go. It was really getting late. This was when she remembered something and went to get it from her room. It was a CD. A CD I lent her in 1997. Titled 'Da Vinci's Sketchbook', it was an accapella group that sang comical songs in accapella form. I was having an accapella craze back in 97 and I bought stuff like LADYSMITH BLACK MAMBAZO just for my listening pleasure. Imagine how sad my taste in music was back then (I also own an original WOODSTOCK T-shirt).

"What's this?"

"Your CD. Sorry it took so long!"

I actually didn't know it was with her. I had the empty case at home for the past 8 years without knowing where I misplaced it. But I couldn't for the love of God recall what songs were inside.

"I can't remember how the CD goes..."

"There's one STUCK IN A TRAFFIC JAM, one LIPOSUCTION and also some SQUGEE SWINGING COWBOY thing."

Why the hell did I buy a CD with tracks like those? I simply can't remember a thing about them. Just as I got up to leave following this exchange, a girl emerged from her brother's room. I gave her a nod and turned to my friend. We walked to the door and stopped at the gate. A typical tradition we had many years back. We would spend another 5-10 minutes at the gate. I gossiped about how come the girl gets to stay over. About how she didn't really need the slimming gel and how she should behave herself if she goes to visit HIS parents. We talked and we laughed. I called for the lift and soon I was hurtling back to the groundfloor and back to my car. Sitting down, I thought for a moment. That was nice. But I shouldn't be thinking about her now. Without thinking I popped the CD into the player and was greated by the harmonius voices of the group.

Listening to the familar tunes after so many years invoked a great many memories of time past. I drove back home listening to the CD which I listened to 8 years ago and had recommended to her. It was quite an amazing trip down memory lane. When I reached my house carpark. I didn't want it to end. I felt as though I were living 8 years ago. When everything was more or less, perfect. But I couldn't stay in the car forever. With the turn of the key, I shut down the engine and those voices from the past. I kept the CD into my bag and left the car leaving behind my memories of yesterday. Sometimes, we just have to force ourselves to move on.

So long. And thanks for all the fish.